I was told to run…run and keep on going. That was the earliest lesson I can remember. What am I running from, is it a person, a fear or an idea. I can’t remember, I don’t want to remember. Why is the question I keep on coming back to? That is the one question that can always go deeper. I don’t know who I am, what I can do or what I should be doing.
Do I fear failure? Is that why I run, is that why I am afraid? All I know is that when you run, at some point the tank will be empty and you will have to face that to which you seek to escape. But maybe, just maybe I’m not running away maybe I am running to. We are all running our own race, running through the obstacle course trying to make it to the next hill. The funny thing is that there are the obstacles we don’t control and the ones we do. I think we often get held up by our own fears. It is like what we are running from and running to are not really that different. They are just another segment on the journey.
What happens if I stop running, will my momentum carry me forward or will I end up crashing into a wall? We are all seeking answers; we are all running from something going to somewhere else. We all fall down, many get back up and just as many seek the new way. We live in a world of branching paths that go from one to the infinite. It is so easy to get lost in all of it, I think we all have been there at some point.
Questions are easy to ask but answers are hard to find, they change, move and flow like water. Remember everything depends, on context, on the person and on too many factors to mention. There are answers but the questions that we wish answered the most are often the ones where no single answer exists. We search for answer all our lives, whether we know it or not. The answers we find are often not the end but just a new beginning, leading to new questions.
We lack the knowledge of tomorrow, forget the wisdom of yesterday but we live in the present because that is all we really have. Tomorrow is not assured, one day our tomorrows will end but in that ending I wish to open another door, another question that leads to the next great mystery.
So I started this off by running away, no I am not running from something or running to any kind of finish line. I will run, jump and move for the challenge, growth and joy that it represents. It is about the freedom to succeed, to fall, to get knocked down and to get back up however many times it takes and evolving as we go. That is not the answer but the question that is always there waiting to be answered when really the answer is in journey itself.
The above was just a writing exercise, to think through some things and find a beginning, middle and not an end but a point that makes the journey worthwhile. I know it doesn’t make sense but then again who ever said it needed to.
Posted via email from @clickeric’s posterous