I guess I’ve always been one to wonder, its one of those things that comes with an over active imagination and an over active sense of thought. It comes with thinking more than acting. It is the pain and the strength. I carry that with me everywhere. I can’t not, that’s just who I am.
What I like about Muay Thai is that the focus is simple in its complexity, I still think too much but with each passing moment I can tame the mind and can focus on something that I long neglected, my physical self. I have to fight the shadows of doubt that come from those that love you.
I must listen to what I know, that it is time to fight not in the arena but in the mind and body. That they are one and to know one is to know the other.
The other day a bunch of us went around wandering around Pai by motorbike, we were disappointed with the so called canyon, got caught in the rain, went to the foot of waterfalls, were blessed with views to make the jaws drop and as the sun set we went up the mountain to the spot where the white Buddha watched from up high for and in peace.
I was with people I barely knew but for which we shared a sense of wonder, of exploration, of possibility. We were all breaking down our physical selves to learn and if only for the briefest times to test our physical selves along the way.
I hadn’t seen Pai’s beauty and this was a gift, I’ve been just trying to keep on going with training that I forgot how I was surrounded by paradise I was and it was good to be reminded of that. We were never that far from where we started but the sights were profound, the surprises were small but none the less genuine or fun and it was shared by people I barely knew but who in those moments I could think of no better to be with for that fun.
The lesson I forgot but that this taught me was to be an explorer every day be it in the wonders of Pai or at home in Toronto or wherever, that to be open and to go out there is just as important as where you go.
So as I head back to the second session of the day I know that this is the right place for this moment, to focus in on the physical to help remake the psychological that both need adherence to the goal which is simple to be better than I was the day before.
So I will never stop wondering or exploring who I am or the world around me, to reach, to ask questions and to be willing to put myself out there in order to overcome every barrier I and we all spend a lifetime putting up ourselves to reach a little farther. That’s the mission every day.