Thoughts on “What I am Doing”

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My flight to Myanmar from Thailand, just another road to travel upon.

I have no clue what I am doing, who I want to be or why I am here? I’ve traveled for more than a year and a half and although I am not the same person I was I am still searching for who it is I want to be. I guess we do that all our lives, that life is about a constant stand of reinvention from one version of ourselves to another. I always lived having the safety on, being careful. I was never a risk taker and I really wish I could say I was that but I am inching closer to be more of that but also have balance of when and what risks to take.

I am not a child anymore I have limited experience in life in comparison to my peers but that’s OK, that allows me to see things from a perspective that others can’t because I frame my life differently based on what is yet to come. I can’t say I know what I will do but I do know that it isn’t time to go back to Canada. I’ll know when that comes but until then I keep on walking, stop just traveling and just try to find ways of making some income so I can keep this trip of a lifetime going.

How do you know you are different? Sometimes its in the subtle things, sometimes its obvious like when you get a tattoo or you meet someone. I hope to change in both physical and mental ways that will allow me to go beyond my preconceived limits and remove my fear of failing.

I want to have a clear direction of who I will be, I need it and I have to focus on just a few things that resonate with each other and get me to that goal. I plan on getting a story out if it kills me cause I know it is there deep down inside. I can feel it but now I must accelerate its rise to the surface of the sun because I can’t afford to wait a few million years before it is out in the world.

I will be open, experiment, do things I would not normally do and enjoy every moment as I can because each second I am out wandering is a second that was worth all the time I was lost because it is helping me finally be found, not be found by someone but find myself and define it on my terms and no one else’s.