Worth and Value for Today and Tomorrow

The White Buddha at sunrise

The White Buddha outside of Pai that watches over the valley at sunrise

What is the value of your life? Is it in your family, the people you touch and or the difference you have. Should you dream to reach those ambitions that drove you as a child or have you grown up and made your dreams small, or have they been shattered so often that you just try to hold on as you hide the truth.

When you think if what you ultimately think of death in order to reflect upon your life but the perception you have or that others have is not the reality there is more to it, more than any individual can see or ever know. You hope that you will be remembered and that the impact you had will ripple into the future of those you care for or those that were touched by your presence.

When you think of life I think of the potential inherent in each life and the live we have lived to this point. For most of us, those in the masses of humanity our impact is measured in our family and friends, what we do and the life we have lived. As I inch towards a new day, a fight and the end of my time here in Pai I remark on my isolation from people.

Everyone wants to matter, there is a reason that a lot of us look at life through destiny, it is to give our life structure and meaning to do what is human and find patterns within the chaos whether those patterns exist or not is besides the point, all that matters is we believe they exist, that is enough to make us feel as if we had a purpose.

Those of us that are closed which includes myself have a harder time of seeing our impact of believing in our own inherent value which has nothing to do with what we do and everything to do with that we exist and that is important in it of itself if we choose to recognize it. Sometimes our value will never be known to us, sometimes it could have been a simple gesture, a smile, a helping hand, a chat with a stranger. Our lives ripple in ways beyond comprehension for both better and worse.

Maybe we need to stop looking at the obvious points of impact and think of all the small ways others be it a teacher, friend or a random encounter can change our lives and live in the believe that we had the same impact on another even if we never knew who they were or remember what transpired.

I live with the belief that perception is part of our reality but not the whole of it, that while we can’t control what life launches at us we can control how we react, when others are mean, we can choose to be kind, when they are negative we can choose to see the possibilities while we prepare for the challenges.

I have no control of who I am going to face in my muay thai fight or in life but what I can do is start by being positive instead giving the my cynicism and negativity. I can empower myself to believe that “I can” instead of “I can’t” by looking at how far I’ve already come. I will not be trapped by the past but will learn its lessons and be freed from it’s hold so I can live for the now and prepare for a tomorrow.

I will treat others with kindness, generosity and openness and will see roadblocks not as setbacks but as something to overcome. I will continue to focus on self-improvement, by being positive if realistic, of being hopeful in the face of doubt, of understanding the fear not as an enemy but a companion that helps keep me aware and ready for the unexpected.

I leave behind my regrets of yesterday and will live without regrets for today and tomorrow. Passion is the fuel, belief is the spark, and focus is my fuel for this opportunity and all others that will reveal themselves as long as I am open to what they are and what they can mean. There is no fate, there is no destiny but for everything outside our power to influence there is just as much we can and that is where I will focus my energy on to take everything I know and make it matter as I hope you can do as well.