I often find it easy to write online because nobody cares, no one will read what I have to write besides a handful of people that will click on the links that I post. With that there is no expectation or chance that I will matter. I don’t have an email list, my audience is the wind and I call out hoping for just a whisper and mostly all that is returned is the silence.
The world doesn’t care nor should it, you are not owed anything by anyone and you’ll have to find your own way past the maze upon maze of roadblocks that will stand in your way. I have been pacing the entrance of my making wondering if I should venture into its depths to see if I can make it count but so conditioned that I will fail it is hard to think success is possible for a person like me.
What is everyone I know from school doing? Most of my mates are now married, have successful careers and growing families while I am alone a world away just trying not to feel like a disappointment and always coming up short. I left because I had to and I am better for it but I face the same problem as always finding a way to be heard.
So here I go to New Zealand with no place to go and no plans and I just hope I can find someway to enter the maze. I can’t sit out in front for much longer, I will have to enter because I must, I have to no because I want to be heard.
I want to tell a story that makes a person think and feel, that the world becomes more than an idea and becomes an entity in it of itself. I don’t have an audience, I don’t even have a specific story but I have the beginnings of a plan and for now, in this moment that is good enough for me.
So this is a promise to myself that I will keep on working on the story and on my craft, that I will not give into my fears and will find a way to my story known to more than just me, if just one person reads it and can say that was good or this is how you can make it better than that’s a win for me and everything after that is bonus.