So 2016 is almost in the books, we’ve had Britain decide to leave the European Union and Donald Trump was elected as President of the Universe States. We live in interesting times. At least Trump gives all those late night hosts happy and enough material for years to come.
I am still in Auckland but soon to being putting this city behind me. I need to find work like everyone else because it is so expensive to live in New Zealand but its such a privilege to be able to say I’m living here.
I have written more than a few hundred thousands of words on a universe of my creation. It stokes my fire and makes me want to write and write some more. I’ve been wrecked by an epic bout of writer’s block but I am going to write a short story, put it out there and will be ready for the knives. I will jump and dodge my way through the chaos because I have to write.
I can’t say that I am who I want to be or even who that could be but I do know that the path I’m on is about challenging my status quo. I’ve been wondering what I can offer. I’ve haven’t had a full-time job in ages but I’m not going to look back. I feel I’ve kind of fell in my old ways like when I was in Toronto and I can’t do that any more and have to break free of it by being different and that is hard, that’s a challenge.
I just look in the mirror and I see a shadow, not a person but someone who lacks even if I know that I can. I’ve hit the grind stone been shaved raw trying to just find a way to keep my head above water and while I am not far from that I am so far from where I want to be that I’m not even at the starting line but shall I stop, shall I go home.
No because I know I can’t, the only way is forward and that is an awesome thing. I have to burn down all the bridges, light the match and walk because there is no turning back. So if anyone reads this wondering who I am, I’ll tell you. I am simply learning to tell stories, to not run because of the fear but stand up despite it. I am learning to use the fear to sharpen my edge and ever stop.
That’s the world I live in, that’s my universe who I am and what I seek. I will publish my story and let everyone know. Will the first one be good…F*&K no but it will be mine and by creating the structure I can learn how to fill the gaps and give it a chance to grow. That’s where I am going.
So I can do a lot and if I can’t do it for work then I’ll do it for my own project, my passion and maybe I can get someone to feel something. Maybe I can take them out of this word and bring them into mine.
I may not knock those heads but you have to fight for every inch and you can never stop fighting the struggles each day and really I get to have summer now how awesome is that. It will be fun no matter what.