Every child born is a gift full of potential and possibility no matter who they are or what world they are born into or the handicaps they will face at the beginning there are no limits. It is us that provide the framework for the child, we craft the structure that will be the lens that will filter how they see the world.
So it is a balance between giving them the freedom to dream and believe while still providing enough structure so they can navigate the complexities of life. I am thinking about it now because its my birthday and I have done nothing. I have failed to give my life meaning, I don’t matter to anyone and no one will care not because I am bad but because I don’t allow for myself to feel part of life.
I don’t exist in the social fabric, I keep my own council because I don’t want to disappoint anyone anymore because I have already disappointed my family so much. I don’t exist in joy, I exist in the struggle just trying to hang on and not fall to my death and I have been as close as you can get without falling into the abyss.
I struggle to find self worth, to feel like I matter when its just me. The empty void darkens the soul, kills the spark that lights the way within our own story so I must start to live. I must be generous, open and hopeful. I must create opportunities for myself but help others to find their own way. I will be a rock for a friend even if I don’t have any.
I shall try to be worthy of friendship even if inside I find hard to believe anyone will ever care for a useless fool such as me. I will never give into the darkness and will seek the light starting with the story I seek to craft that lives within my mind and must find its way to freedom.