Just because I am weak doesn’t mean I can’t be strong. You have to realize that we each carry the contradiction with us because it’s that interplay between those forces that makes life unpredictable and special.
I love the contradiction, the contrast between what we think and how we feel. How different our rational selves are from our emotional ones. How the balance between those competing aspects of ourselves helps to define who we are or what is possible.
It isn’t until we face the darkness, the hate, the pain, the loneliness, the sorrow and all of our flaws that we can see who we truly are for good and ill. One of the things I have learned is that you can’t know what joy is without understanding it’s opposite.
Sometimes you have to die before you can live and that’s what it feels like I have done multiple times. Here’s the thing I know I can, what can I do? Date, go after that person that girl I like but I have just never had the nerve even though I know I have the capability to do it and to be fucken awesome, to have the fire, passion, joy and confidence to be the man but I always get pulled back to someone who is afraid when I know that my fear is an illusion.
That I can have the swagger and the courage to be that guy even when I think it’s just a lie that I need to tell to myself so that one day it will actually be the truth.