Here I am sitting in the Phuket Airport just wondering what to do? I thought that I would do a few more fights in Thailand and get to double digits and then be done with fighting. I didn’t come to Phuket to train, at least not really but being there where the heart of muay thai beats strong and loudly where you see fights being promoted at every desk you can’t help but want to go and train and fight.
So I guess my plan is to go back to Pai, train to actually get better, to improve my skills cause I think I was just holding court and not evolving myself or where I was as a writer, traveler and …. a fighter (even if I don’t think I could ever really consider myself one).
The goal is to write, it is the big goal, the summit and muay thai while different is part of my own path if only because I still marvel at people not laughing their ass off when I say I am going to fight.
I am just a guy, I don’t have much of anything, little money but have been blessed with this time and I don’t know how long it can last but I will take advantage of every moment to make it amazing.
I have to put in the work, I’ve done it for muay thai and will continue to do so, to not be scared and to fidn a way to be confident enough to keep on going when your body and your mind say no, you go with the heart which is what says yes and can override reason to do what feels right, even if it isn’t pretty, even if there is no win at the end.
That’s not what it is about, its about so much more and I owe that to travel, to muay thai and to that epic story within me. That is where my drives are, what I have to hone into so I can continue.
I am just about to go for my flight and see what happens next, to prep for fight 8 and hopefully 9 and if I am luckly get one in Phuket just because it would be awesome to be there and compete no matter what the odds or how good or bad I am or can be.
Sometimes you just have to do it, not listen to the whipsers that say no or the family or friends that say you shouldn’t, you do it because you know in your heart you have to for you but for them and because they care.
This is less a blog post and more me just mussing on what can be, of just putting words out there to the wind that will drift in the ether where no one can see but that I know is there. So to building on what has come before and breaking the limiters that I have put on myself through shame and hate, those emotions exist for me but in the minority, they are not who I am or who any of us are.
We are more than that I am more than that and the next fight is to prove it, each day is to prove that I can, fight the good fight, write the story and or see the world for all the epic sites, little moments and people that it has to offer.
That is the rabbit we chase, those goals we seek, but sometimes we get there and sometimes it leads us down other paths but as long as we keep going and learning that is what counts. How you react, who you are because of everything goes beyond the chase, it is why we are here to live, expereince and grow and if we are lucky leave the world or those we touch better than they were before to do that is an honour and a priviliage every day we walk this Earth.
To the chase, to the rabbit and the surprises between here and there.