Fallen but Not Beaten

By the time most people are in their 30s they have had several careers, me I’ve had none and that’s not a bad thing it’s just my reality. I can’t live expecting my life to be like most people.

Forging your own path off the normal routes where there are no markers is full of deep dives into the jungle of the unknown. It means the mistakes will come fast and furious, that the challenges will be unrelenting and unforgiving but that’s what a challenge is.

My goal is to write, to not just create a world but make it known even is the audience is an audience of just a few people. It is the path forward. It’s gonna be a wild one.

I’m gonna have fun with it. I just did a run and it always clears my head now gonna head to the gym and punch and kick the shit out of a bag for a bit. Maybe I won’t be able to fight but doesn’t mean I can’t train even if it’s just for myself to release my pent up rage.

So know that when it comes to writing a story I’m probably gonna write myself or a version of myself within it. Instead of taking my best self which isn’t that good anyway I’ll choose my worst self, the doubt, the self hate but also the hope to break the limits even if he or I am hurt along the way.

Nothing is easy, there is no destiny in this life. We love reading about it because it clears the dog from our view. Destiny is attractive because it takes the decision out of our hands but fuck that I don’t think we are defined by our successes, I think is how we deal with our mistakes and what happens when we are at our worst.

That is what shows each of us who we really are and at my worst I ran, I pressed the escape button and ran because I had to be free of it all. I am gonna surrender to the need to write, to tell stories and make it work.

So that’s where I am right now, I’m gonna just shut up and write the story and live my own so I can funnel that inspiration into every word I craft.