My last full day in India, My 3 months in India spanned more than 6000 km 7 states, and close to two dozen cities. I crossed from the south to the north and have been here longer than I have been anywhere outside of North America.
I felt like a door had opened and I saw a different world. India is as frustrating as it is amazing. The wonders are unique, the region’s history spans millennium, empires, kingdoms and colonies.
Her riches are vast, her heart created through a person who saw non violence as the answer. It is also a country that is creeping under the weight of corruption, who as a young nation has an old soul full of a culture that has existed in some form for longer than I can understand, her modern people are still finding balance between their past, the present and the future.
I saw the Taj Mahal, briefly rode the backwaters, got lost many times, shattered my phone, saw a fort that still breathed life and wasn’t the home of ghosts. There were palaces, beaches, most dirty but a few were clear.
I’ve seen more showrooms than I ever thought possible, had at least a few people a day try to sell me scarves, candles and whatever else they had on hand. I bought too much bottled water, had a samosa or two daily, the lassi was divine, the coconut was a pleasure and the sweets could be found on every corner.
I’ve met many who love India, and many that wanted to leave, she is a conundrum, the contrasts are extreme. To get to the glory you have to go through the frustration, she is a contradiction in so many ways and it’s what gives her people and culture life.
The Gods are many, the people are diverse, the problems are clear and the pollution an avalanche that could bury the beauty underneath a mountain range of trash but that’s why she is mighty, that’s why India is something to see.
My eyes were not closed but I don’t think they were open, now they see more than I could have ever known before, and for that I thank you India, I’ll see you again, to walk the unseen roads, into places I’ve yet to dream but whom I seek in this life or the next.
I can’t say I fell in love with India but I was allured by her charms, intrigued by the possibilities and could see her beauty as I wandered her roads. I shall come again to go deeper, to get beyond the surface, which I saw in glimpses but must be immersed to really understand
Its funny I just wrote a huge post that failed to upload it took me awhile to do and was damn long so I’m gonna keel its replacement short and sweet.
I’m letting go of my fear, doubt, hate, the comparisons people make and of worthlessness. These are my albatrosses, the thingd that prevent me from living instead of surviving. I will release them every day into the wind, any time they threaten to take be back to the prison of my own making.
Some people say I need to grow up when I need to revert to what it was like when I was 22. To take chances, to not be afriad of consequnces and take things as they come.
As I gave voice to the chains I felt free, I walked with a confidence that is as alien to me as a palm tree is to the snow.
I’m gonna go out and meet people, to find fast friends and be someone that they can count out as much as I seek the same. I’m out myself out there to discover intimacy that I long ago locked away in the prison in the shadow of my soul.
I shall take the pain and use it as a lense to reflect and magnify every inspired word, idea and hope that I seek to write. While I’m letting go im also going to take to heart belief that I have worth, live with confidnce, that I can and that my failures are lessons that will bridge the gap to success.
That’s who I choose to be and it sounds simple but I know better. I take on the challenge to be better tomorrow than I am today. To let my age be just a number and nothing more because I’m probably the youngest 30 something you will ever meet.
I will finallt go out and risk it all, date on the road, tred new ground, to smile and talk to anyone and everyone without fear of rejection.
I let go of rejection because it is a Phantom, it isn’t my reality. I will make my own reality, I cant control the world around me but I can control how I respond. I let go of indecisiveness, will take a stand, I want to stand for something. I reject comparisions bceause its our own journey and those that walk with us that matter. I will not fall into the trap that I have to do what someone else is doing.
This is what I choose to live by today, it will change and so shall I for the better, so let’s live like I feel to discover, expereince and to matter to someone out there.
So we are a week into 2014, the winter olympics are round the bend and many of us are already way past due on resolutions. I’m one of them. I created a world now it’s time to play within it, while continuing to nurture its creation. My goal is simple have a story outlined in 2 weeks and then get to writing. I also have several script ideas I need to get back on the saddle for. I’ve wandered 8 countries so far but let’s see if my dream to write can be more than an idea and instead make it a reality. Its not a promise, it’s a mission, a craving, a need that I must follow no matter where I end up. I can’t go home until its done. So l started months ago but let’s make this the year I finish it. So what are you doing this year? How will you make it count. For me it’s about getting further out there and risking it all in search of who I am and for the story. That’s it, nice and simple but that’s usually the hardest thing you can do. I’m gonna have fun through, make it memorable and have a lifetime of adventures to share wherever I land.
So this is a short one but when you are on the local or intra city buses in India and have bags that will not fit in the overhead compartments take the seat right before the back door.
There is usually a space that is big enough to fit at most a 55 L backpack. Its also easy to get on or off from there. Make sure you get there early for the busy routes but it’s not a big deal cause those have tons of buses going back and forth.
Take the government run buses if you are going on the cheap cause the deluxe ones while more comfortable are also more than double the price. Most of the buses look like they are held together with glue and ingenuity and you got to hand it to them they run pretty well.
I don’t find AC that necessary on the routes cause everyone has the windows open which keeps the air moving. That can be bad though in areas oh heavy smog ans dust. You develop a thin layer of grim over time just because you can’t not. Its annoying by you get used to it pretty fast.
The intra city buses I’ve been on are green and local buses a brown in Tamil Nadu at least. Take note of the major bus and train hubs so you have an idea of where you need to go to get to your next destination.
So I’m just about in Bangalore, just a few days shy of Christmas I hope I don’t have to spend it in some hotel room but who knows what the next few days have instore, I hope for an experience that forces me outside myself to the person I can see hints of UN those moments when you have no choice but to tackle problems and challenges head on.
Should the world come before the story or the story give rise to the world? I think the easiest way to think about it for me is the story creates the world but as a gamer I think the process can be done either way. So is it possible to do it either way. My friend Tony told me that it’s the story that creates the world when I’m actually doing the opposite. Now that’s a bitch cause as I work at it I can see any numbers of stories that take place in the RIFT, as I’m calling the universe now.
So what to do how to do it and where to start if I’m going backwards, trying to think of the story to introduce the world. What I started out doing was creating small stories of characters within the world to find who I gravitated towards. I stopped doing this a while ago and now I feel I need to get back on the wagon and start creating characters that I want to write about, no matter the form the story takes. I think I have to start over, not with my world building but with the characters.
I must go back and live and breathe with these characters until they are as real to me as any person out here now. I feel like that’s just what I need to do to find the story. Most of what I think of and put to page will never make it into the story but it does help give anyone that dares to look beyond the superficial a feeling that you thought about how things work not just how something sounds on the page or looks like if it were on a screen, any screen.
I think stories are the hardest things to create out of nothing, they have no form until we can give it. They have nothing but an idea, a concept, a voice until it is on the page or is put on the screen, heard a loud or given some form be it permanent or transitory. Any storyteller wishes to give their idea substance, an audience that will look deep and see the world in ways even the writers can’t imagine as they create it.
I’ve always believed that we all have many stories to tell, those that we create in our lives or in the lives of others to those that come out of our experiences and from the land where creativity sings its song. I’ve never thought of myself as a storyteller, not really. I guess for me personally this is the journey I’m on, the path I seek, the way forward for whatever comes. That has to be the way, if it isn’t then I don’t know why I’m here.
So let’s dive into this world I created and find the story within the pages, within my imagination, the news I see, the experiences I’ve had and heard from friends. Let’s see if I can give this world in my head, form and function to live beyond my imagination.
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