Finding a new Beat

I’ve been beating this drum for the last few years, stay in a place, spend as little as possible, find something anything to keep busy and then get out. The only real change I had was when I was living and working in New Zealand and that didn’t end well for me with a crappy …

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Time to Move Forward

Every day I wonder what story I should write and what should I say. For years I kept to myself to keep myself from being put in a position where people would give a damn. I liked being invisible because it was easy, it made it feeling forgotten easier and made it so I didn’ve …

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Be the Wolf not the Lamb and F*#k the Normal

Everyone is unique and each one of us has our own story. I was never a normal kid and when real life hit me in the face I fucked up continuously and over time that made me feel like I was worthless because I wasn’t like everyone else. When you hit your mid-twenties the pressure …

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Embrace your contradiction to turn the corner

Just because I am weak doesn’t mean I can’t be strong. You have to realize that we each carry the contradiction with us because it’s that interplay between those forces that makes life unpredictable and special. I love the contradiction, the contrast between what we think and how we feel. How different our rational selves …

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Later Kid – You Better come out Swinging and don’t worry I will do the Same

Thanks Pascal for being a brother

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Lots of Acquaintances Few Friends

We are connected to the world and the meaning of friendship not only includes the people we know but who we know on Facebook and a multitude of other channels. What is a friend though? According to the power of Google a friend is: a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, …

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Falling off the Edge and Getting Back Up Stronger

I’m sitting here after having had the worst night in years and while I won’t go into my stupidity it made me realize that I want to live but I have to do it on my terms. I can’t let expectations be debilitating on who I am working to be. They have killed my ability …

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Facing the future with swagger

Facing the future also means not being trapped by your past and I have been running from mine for years. I’ve gotten used to being alone and independent and while it’s been great it is no longer enough. I can’t just stick to the same old routines and think that is going to somehow change …

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Waking up and starting to live

When you live in shame you are not really living you are surviving but not experiencing. I have been guilty of that for my entire adult life. I forgot what it meant to be alive, to enjoy going out or just talking to your friends. I have a great family but I am not close …

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I am grateful for…

My friend was writing down 50 things he was grateful for and since I’ve been in a bad spot mentally recently I thought I would steal it and see if it would do any good. I am grateful for: Having had friends I am grateful for my family Being able to travel For having th …

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