Facing the future also means not being trapped by your past and I have been running from mine for years. I’ve gotten used to being alone and independent and while it’s been great it is no longer enough. I can’t just stick to the same old routines and think that is going to somehow change …Continue reading "Facing the future with swagger"
When you live in shame you are not really living you are surviving but not experiencing. I have been guilty of that for my entire adult life. I forgot what it meant to be alive, to enjoy going out or just talking to your friends. I have a great family but I am not close …Continue reading "Waking up and starting to live"
My friend was writing down 50 things he was grateful for and since I’ve been in a bad spot mentally recently I thought I would steal it and see if it would do any good. I am grateful for: Having had friends I am grateful for my family Being able to travel For having th …Continue reading "I am grateful for…"
Every day I am reminded about how alone I am. I see everyone make connections while I remain an island, a barren wasteland so far removed from the rest of existance that I am at the edge of memory fading into the fog. I am but the dead man walking, just a waste of a …Continue reading "Is it worth it or should it end"
I am the guardian of my soul, the arbiter of my thoughts and reactions to the waves, the dips and valleys that life crashes upon my shore. I am alone in the dark, my soul is the prison of my mind, a single light among the more than 7 billion others. That might as well …Continue reading "Both the Prisoner and the Guard"
There are many moments I wish I was like everyone else, married with 2 kids, a good job, a nice house and great friends. I have none of those things and have never had them. I live life with an immature sense of self with respect to dating. I have no confidence and I don’t …Continue reading "Giving my hate a voice to find a way to be free of it"
There are a lot of people I know that think of New Zealand as a paradise and even though I primarily stayed in Auckland even in the short visits acorss the North island I can see why but you quickly become aware of the costs of such paradise which keep that feeling out of reach …Continue reading "Looking back at a year and change in New Zealand"
One thing I miss about home is the simple ability to drink water from the tap. I’ve met alot of people that don’t like the taste of tap water and will buy bottled water instead. I’ve come to think of bottled water as evil because of all the plastic waste it generates. I’ve read that …Continue reading "Water Bottles Suck Use Drinking Water Machines Instead"
When I was working in New Zealand I was trying to save as much as I could and that really prevented me from enjoying life. Working at The North Face through True Alliance was a means to an end and working with my manager made it hard and that feeling pervades my thoughts of what …Continue reading "Starting the Day"
I lived in Auckland for nearly a year and a half and struggled a lot from the very beginning. I was going there for one reason to find work and save as much as I can. Now that it’s done and I have left I look back and realize that I limited myself because of my one overriding goal so save as much as I could.Continue reading "Looking back on working at TNF Auckland (and happy it’s over)"