I have written for a few sites and it is always fun and frustrating. I did OK in English but I never thought of myself as a writer until that is what I started doing. I am still learning be my own best editor and it is hard as frack (this is for all those sci-fi dudes). My problem has always been I read it the way my brain wrote it not how it was actually written on the page. How I am starting to guard against that is my reading my work out loud several times. By speaking each work, each sentence I can get a better idea of it sounds right.
Recently I got the chance to write an article for print. That is a huge step for me because it is something tangible and real. I was so lucky that the editor asked me to do it. It is something I can’t thank him enough for. Looking at my history is like looking at a storm I hope I am closer to the end of it than I am the beginning but I have survived this long, no way I am gonna give up now.
I am doing the job hunting thing but I am also thinking about what kind of ideas I can come up with that would be cool projects to work on. I just sent my CV to an agency in New York City and have sent it to a couple of positions in Toronto that I am more than qualified for and guess who actually responded to me…. not any of the Toronto agencies, it was the NYC based one. I don’t know how to take that but I am not going to give up but I am not so spellbound by the advertising and marketing industries that I don’t understand both their strengths and their weaknesses.
That has made me realize that I don’t have to find a job… that I have the resources to do something else if I so choose and while that is not an easy place to find yourself in but it doesn’t have to be that way if you come at it with a great attitude. Fundamentally I consider myself a passionate story guy. I’m way to curious for my own good and that is a double-edged sword but then again the best weapons always are. It is all about learning to wield it for maximum damage with minimal risk with the knowledge that there will always be some risk and that just part of the deal.
I have been through the spin cycle more than once trying to find a place that fits but I just have not found it yet and should I wait or jump into the fray on my own. What am I waiting for? I think the fear has always been there and I struggle between the two poles of yes and no. I am searching for a basecamp? It can be something I start or a place I join but either way I know that it will have to be right. I have waited this long, there is no point taking something unless it feels right. Maybe I just need to jump off the cliff and go at these 2 or 3 things hardcore. At least then I will have given it my all and whatever happens because of it I will be able to stand up tall.
That is the hope and my question of contemplation.