I’ve been in Bangkok for a few days and I’ve realized that I have a problem with spending money, that I will do everything in my power not to spend a dime. Since my money is worth so much more you would think it would be easy to go out and spend a few dollars but for me its just the opposite.
I find myself even more money conscious than ever before. I’ve always been tight with money and it is both a blessing and a curse because it means for the most part I avoid spending frivolously but by the same token it also means I prevent myself from having fun and doing things because of cost.
Its a psychological issue because it doesn’t matter the price or how far my money actually goes I naturally tend to find ways to avoid spending even if that means I skip out on things I know I shouldn’t.
I slept in most of the 21st, spent some time exploring. I was going to go into Bangkok proper yesterday but wasn’t feeling too good and had to move rooms so I stayed in and around the hotel. Today I was about to go but I was figuring a few things out and just put it off. That isn’t why I’m here and I’m using the location as an excuse and I will stop doing that, starting now.
Today I explored the Buddhist temple I’ve only seen from my hotel balcony and walked a km in each direction just to see what was around. There were only 2 directions you could go and it was nice seeing what I saw from a distance up close but really there wasn’t that much out there to see. It feels more real though, you could see people living here.
It was raining off and on the entire time and after 2 or so hours I called it in and its been raining ever since, nothing heavy but enough rain to be annoying after a little while. I was going to head into the city but I didn’t because of the rain even though a friend of mine named Ian said it was sporadic at best.
Why am I not just taking it all in, part of me thinks its a combination of a few things, I’m using my adverse spending habits as a way to stop me from getting out there and I don’t know why. I know that Thailand is one stop and I think I’m playing the long game, by pinching now I say to myself I can spend later when all I’m really doing is putting off what I should be experiencing now and I know it.
So today is the last time I will ever let that stop me from doing what I need to do. What I will use the rest of today is to write, to start crafting the story because that’s why I said I was here and if I’m going to be in a room until tomorrow morning I’m gonna use the setting to get some story crafted.
At least I know what I have to do and I have a plan to break through it, which is tomorrow bright and early, be out by 8 or 9 am, get to the airport and head into town, it doesn’t matter where, anywhere will do and start exploring, getting lost and meeting people. I should have done this 2 days ago.
So tomorrow I play catch up and explore, play a little catch up and just have fun and explore. Maybe set a goal to find a few interesting places and most importantly find a cheaper place to say that’s at the heart of the action.